Saying No With Grace
Because Massage Therapists Aren’t Always Great At Boundaries
Welcome back to another Monday with the Mavens. We created the Massage Mavens blog to connect with and educate self-employed massage therapists working to grow as business owners.
It can be lonely working for yourself – and we’re here to remind you that while you’re in business for yourself, you don’t have to be in business by yourself.
While we cater our content to independent MTs, all massage therapists are welcome here; whether you run your own independent massage therapy studio, you contract in a clinic, work in spa, or you are still in school.
Saying No With Grace
Unfortunately, it is not *usually* acceptable to grimace and respond with “I don’t have time for that nonsense” when someone asks you to donate time or energy to a task that doesn’t interest you. (Or even to a task that DOES interest you, but you simply don’t have time for.) So how can you protect your time and schedule with grace when declining invitations?
As self-employed massage therapists, we can find ourselves being pulled in twenty different directions. Clients want extra availability, local businesses want chair massage events, schools and hospitals want XYZ Appreciation events, other massage therapists (and wellness professionals at large) want to grab coffee and learn about your studio.
And as small business owners, we want to make a good impression and we are *usually* prone to accommodating as much as possible. “This event might generate a client!” “That event probably won’t generate a client but I want to foster a relationship with the person organizing it, so it’s worth it” etc etc
Personally, I used to say yes to EVERYTHING I could get my hands on.
Eventually, though, my business got busy…my life got busy…my calendars filled up…and I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to accommodate every little thing I was invited to participate in.
You, too?
That’s when we need to start making decisions and learning how to say no to the things that no longer move us forward.
For example. I no longer say yes to the Teacher’s Appreciation chair massage event I am (still) invited to work every year.
No. For many reasons; no. It’s not that I don’t appreciate teachers. But it IS that I appreciate that I’m not the right person for that event, and vice versa.
My books are full. I do not need exposure. Why would I work for free at an event that cannot help my business grow?
Even if my books weren’t full, teachers work the same schedule I do, so they’re not my ideal client. Exposure to this demographic is ultimately unhelpful. I target clients who can get massage midday during the week… teachers are usually looking for weekend availability…what are we even doing, here?
I do not live in the town the event is happening in. A local therapist would be a better fit, no?
Every time I get the invitation from the organizer, I feel annoyed at the idea of attending…instead of excited - so why would I say yes to an event I’m clearly not meant for?
What kinds of invitations have you received lately that are not the right fit for your business?
What kinds of events have you felt pressured to attend in the past that you wish you’d never said Yes to?
There are many resources out there to help you craft scripts around saying “no.”
To this day, my favorite way to say No was taught to me by my chiropractor and friend: “Thank you so much for considering me for your event! I would love to participate; but if I’m being honest, I just don’t have the bandwidth. I would hate to show up and give anything less than my best, so I’m going to have to decline. I so so hope your event is a success, and that you find the right people to support it.”
It is worth noting that he actually used that script To Say No To Me…and I liked it so much I kept it. I was hosting an Open House and he simply didn’t have the bandwidth. No hard feelings. The event was still a blast. My other chiropractor connections attended instead, and the world kept on spinning.
I loved his script because:
It opens with gratitude. He respected the invite. He respected the event. He was grateful to have been considered. There was nothing I could take personally about his No.
It pins the declination on his own workload, which is not something the event organizer (me) could offer to change or work around. I had to take his No as No, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Real talk, I was invited to an event that I had no interest in participating in. My excuse for not accepting the invite was that I already had plans that afternoon…so the organizer jumped at the opportunity to inform me that that was not a problem as it was a two-day event, and so they would plan to see me on Day 2! Crisis decidedly not averted.
What do you think of his approach to No?
How have you effectively (and graciously) said No when your own plate is full, and your time would be better spent elsewhere?
Thanks for stopping by!
As always, we’d love to hear how our content has helped you improve either your studio, your mindset, or your revenue as a self-employed massage therapist.
Rachel Martin, LMT, is an independent massage therapist living in Denver Colorado. Having built her solo massage studio to capacity, she now spends her free time helping other massage therapists do the same. Check out The Bodyworkers Business Collective, Queen Street Marketplace, and The Techy MT to learn more.
